Two words you never want to hear in one sentence: “lice” and “outbreak”. Apparently there’s a spike in lice outbreaks in Oakland. You can blame students.

As students return from the hedonistic week-long binge otherwise known as spring break where they’ve passed out in drunken stupors in nasty, cheap motels across warm climes, they’ve brought us all back a lovely gift: lice. Why, thank you, you shouldn’t have.

“It’s typical to see a surge of lice outbreaks at specific times throughout the year and after Spring Break is a major peak time.” says Ray Ruiz owner of Lice Control—a professional head lice removal company in Oakland.

However, spread through head-to-head contact, these insidious vermin love the little kiddies most.

“Spring is the start of helmet season. Baseball, softball, and bike helmets are a catalyst for head lice. This is also the time that kids are having slumber parties, getting together with cousins for holiday parties, and head-to-head contact is in abundance,” explains Ray

The first sign of a lice infestation (if you’re not already scratching at yourself like crazy) are small red bumps, that may look like a heat rash, on your neck or behind your ears. And remember, lice like clean hair. So basically we’re all just screwed.

It makes my scalp itch just thinking about it.

Image courtesy of the CDC