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Who’s That Girl?


In a matter of speaking, keeping a social profile of quality is simply a manner of keeping up appearances. One must hit the right clubs, the right events, and steer clear of the fodder and riff raff. If one is at the wrong place at that right time, they will forever be burdened with the title of creep, chaser, or wannabe. Now, if someone would have only told a certain little miss more!

On Wednesday night, apparently the old Friday and the new Tuesday in the Castro, a certain drag hostess happened upon the NakedSword Frathouse One Year Anniversary party. It was quite nice of her to leave her own party to come and say hello, and she was greeted with open arms by the go-go boys and porn junkies who had gathered just up the road. That was, of course, until she extended her visit a little past the point of visitor. As she attempted to climb on stage with Falcon model T.J. Hawke, things went horridly awry. Now, I am not saying that I was there, but honey I have eyes everywhere. From what I gather, the mistress of Booty Call tumbled from the go-go platform to the floor, leaving the crowd a-gasp. Tongue biting was definitely all but mandatory.

When you pick up the pieces of an embarrassing night-happening, it is best to move gracefully forward as though nothing ever happened, even if it's a porn star that picked you up! While some queens where falling down, others where serving it up. In the remotest corner of the Castro, on a shady block bordering CHUMA and of less significance, Ambrosia Salad was finally making her mark with her first full-fledged House entrée in the Castro. Despite its dislocated locale, the Monster Show with Cookie Dough had the bad judgment, or perhaps exquisite taste, to book the talented house of scenesters, and it proved a night to remember.

In my take of the events, the ability of the House to fit all 400 members on a 7’x10’ stage was the highlight of a solid evening of performances. Well, that and the poppers toast. Ambrosia Salad offered up a mighty pleasure when she dabbed cotton swabs with amyl nitrate and offered them to the packed house. All attendants where breathlessly whipped into a galloping giggle as the potion took affect, reaching a comedic climax together. It was special; I’m not going to lie. What surprised me even more than our precious moment, however, was the most exciting part of the show for the Salad crew.

All the Salad’s, from Baby Salad to Coleslaw, where overwhelmingly excited that a certain Miss Evita Minx was gracing their audience, mindfully eyeing each and every number. Evita Minx is the Chloe Sevingy of the Tranny scene. The Hot Boxxx girl is a veritable force on stage, evoking Samantha Fox, Cyndi Lauper and Siouxsie Sioux effortlessly. She is flawless, and truly the real deal. That said, she is not a transsexual, but rather a drag queen like the rest of the lot. Her true magic is in her ability to remain completely anonymous. She will never reveal her true self, keeping all her followers wrapt up in her mystique.

The magic of Minx may be her loyalty to character. For she is drag legend as surely as I will never break a pinkyswear, but I have been tipped off. Just who is this Evita Minx, and what is she hiding from her minions. Is she the new Serena van der woodsen of Bagdad by the Bay? OR will her downtown life catch up with her. I have got my sources, and the leads are still coming in! Maybe I will be so obliged as to let you know. We shall see how the cards will fall! But in the meantime, who was the porn star who left his package at the Frathouse? And what porn magnate has slated the mystery guest of the year for their anticipated Christmas disco? Who served up more than a slice of shade to Heklina in the comforts of home, and why in god’s name are you still reading this? It’s hotter than hell outside boys! Get your asses in the sun! I will be seeing no tan lines at the disco on Saturday Marys! Don’t test me, or I will never tell you my secrets. Then again, I probably won’t anyway, because I never break a pinkyswear!