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Naughty Valentine's

Spice Up Your Love Life

In San Francisco, there’s no shortage of opportunities to lose your inhibitions, and Valentine’s Day is no exception. If you’re looking to use the occasion to spice up your love life, there are plenty of options.

January 25th to February 8th: Pleasure Your Lover Better
Get ready to blow your lover’s mind with pre-Valentine’s Day workshops at Good Vibrations on Polk Street. For those interested in perfecting fellatio and/or cunnilingus skills, try the Oral Majority on January 25th, where you’ll learn “virtually everything you need to enjoy oral sex as the giver or the recipient.” At the Different Strokes on January 26th, you’ll learn “how to make your guy’s toes curl with an amazing erotic genital massage.”Plan to attend Oh the Places You’ll Go! on February 27th if you need help rekindling the oomph in the bedroom (or wherever you like to do it), and Introduction to Red Tantra on February 8th if you’ve always wanted to know what Tantra was about and how you can practice it to reach the multi-orgasmic state.

February 10th: Chocolate Fetish Playshop
This clothing-optional event at SF Citadel is primarily aimed at couples and groups that want to play in chocolate and learn together. At this event, participants will paint chocolate on each other, learn about using chocolate in erotic play, and learn how to avoid potential “problems.” It’s recommended to bring your own “lab partner,” and there are sinks but no shower facilities so you’ll probably want to bring some clean clothing to change into afterward.

February 11th: Couples Lap Dance Class
Heat things up with a two hour lap-dance class in which you’ll learn above other things how to give a tempting cleavage show, “straddle love gyration” and “sizzling booty grind.” You will be practicing on whomever you choose to bring to class, and though the focus is on feminine techniques the class “will cover a few masculine or switch tricks.” Slinky Productions only offers its Couples Lap Dance Class twice a year. This Valentine’s Day edition will take place at Cotton Mills Studios in Oakland. Chocolate and bubbly will be served. Price of the class is $99 per couple. Slinky Productions also offers gift certificates for exotic dance classes if this date/time doesn’t work out.

February 11th to 13th: On The Edge Erotic Art Photo Exhibit
Set the mood to sizzling by taking your lover to this group exhibition of erotic photographers displaying over 400 nude, sensual, glamorous, exotic, bondage, fetish, and kinky photos at The Artists Alley. Meet and mingle with the photographers and models or get them to autograph a Valentine’s gift. Opening reception is on Friday, Feb 11 and the exhibit goes through Sunday, Feb 13.

Hand-Blown Glass Sex Toys
Grow up from novelty dildos to hand-blown works of art at Glass Kandi in the TL. There are many benefits of going glass: it’s hypoallergenic and odorless and when properly cleaned, there’s less germs and bacteria. Unlike other sexy toys that start to break down and/or smell funny, glass sexy toys last longer if cared for, and as an added plus, they can be heated or chilled for more variety in play. If you have any questions, don’t be shy — the staff is knowledgeable and happy to answer any questions or provide helpful hints if you need any.

Va-Voom! Footwear
Spice things up with a pair of six-inch Lucite platform heels or thigh-high boots from Foot Worship, where you’ll find a mouth-watering selection in sizes ranging from 5-15. Not used to wearing sky-high heels? You can also pick up stabilizers on the cheap. You’ll also find fetish wear or playtime outfits to match your new shoes upstairs at Felicity’s Fetiche. Plus: clean, pleasant environments so you won’t feel like you’re sneaking around like a creep where you shouldn’t be. As Felicity says, “Less is more, and the easier to take off, the better.”

Kink Up Your Wardrobe
Of course, you don’t need Valentine’s Day to break out the kinky duds, but it’s a perfect excuse if you need one. In the market for some sexy nothings to get the pulse racing? If leather’s your flavor, make sure to try Mr. S Leather or Madame S Boutique (same location). Mr. S Leather is your place if you’re a man on the hunt for leather or latex from vanilla and beyond. For the ladies, Madame S is a one-stop shop whether you’re looking for straight jackets, clamps, restraints and whatever your kinky heart desires. Your imagination really is the limit.

Corsets Galore
For those fixated on waist-cinching, cleavage-amplifying corsets, make sure to pay Dark Garden a visit. With prices starting at $250, it’s no place for misers, but the beautiful ready-to-wear or custom corsets are sure to make you look and feel like a million bucks. Owner Autumn Adamme established Dark Garden in 1989, and everything is designed around actual people, not dress forms. Celebrity clients include Christina Aguilera, Pamela Anderson, and Dita Von Teese, to name a few if you need further convincing. And don’t think corsets are just for women, waist cinchers for men are also available here.