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Stay at Home and Read the Comic Book Instead (i.e. the book is always better)

I'm sure the Elektra comic books are great. I'm sure the get-up Elektra wears actually looks cool. I'm sure "The Hand", which comes across as completely ridiculous in this film version, are scintillatingly evil villains instead of X-Men rip-offs. Which is why you should go to your nearest comic book store and buy a copy of those instead of paying to watch this laughable celluloid mutilation.

Elektra died at the end of Daredevil and should have been left to rest in peace. Instead, she was resurrected and thrust into her very own feature film, in which she stumbles through one ridiculous scenario after another. Dubbed the "final weapon in an ancient war" between good and evil, Elektra (Jennifer Garner) has been ditched by her mentor and is making a lucrative career as an assassin. Although perhaps not profitable enough to afford to buy a better costume; what she wears looks like a cheap overly-padded corset and a pair of ill-fitting satin pajama pants (she looks like she belongs in an episode of "She-Spies" more than anything else.)

Besides her poor fashion choices, Elektra's not doing too good. She's got a bad case of OCD and suffers from nightmares. Which director Rob Bowman (Reign of Fire -- enough said) seems to think needs to be put on an endless loop throughout the film in order for the audience to soak in the symbolic and Freudian nature of the dreams; we got it the first two times Rob, ten times was not necessary.

While on assignment, Elektra finds herself entangled in a mysterious triangle between a young girl (Kirsten Prout), who's a total brat and for whom you're practically rooting to get killed towards the end, her father (Goran Visnjic), the obligatory love interest, and The Hand, a group of evil assassins who resemble sideshow circus freaks with totally outlandish names like Kinkou, Tattoo and Typhoid Mary.

To make it quick -- the story makes no sense, the dialogue is witless and the action is dull. Elektra is a terrible movie and by the time the credits roll (and most likely well before) you will be left puzzled and perhaps slightly revolted.

Rating: 1 star out of 5