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Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle

How much for a piece of ass?

I have been terribly stressed out as of late. The kind of stress that seeps into your dreams and gives you nightmares. Non-stop stress. However, when I saw Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, for an hour and a half all thoughts left my mind and I entered another world altogether. Some would say it's because the summer flick killed off all my remaining brain cells. I would argue that this was just what I needed - the wonderful oblivion of entertainment.

Director McG, best known for his sexy music videos, has really outdone himself. There's more flash and glam in this sequel to capture the attention of any thirteen-year and enough outfit changes to satisfy any Bollywood aficionado.

Ditsy but charmingly cute Natalie (Cameron Diaz), tough and cool Dylan (Drew Barrymore) and all around over-achiever Alex (Lucy Lui) come back to kick some more ass as super-cool agents under the employ of a mysterious man named - you guessed it - Charlie. Their pimp, uh, manager Bosley (Bernie Mac), brother to their former contact played by Bill Murray, acts more like Mr. Roeper from Three's Company than anyone you would see in a 007 movie.

There's also a bad seed among them - Madison (Demi Moore looking stunning), a former Angel who falls from grace. While Madison is strutting about in lingerie and bikinis and being generally naughty, the trio is fighting to retrieve and safeguard two rings encoded with folks enrolled in the Witness Protection Plan. As they struggle against bad guys with serious grudges, they try to keep their ever-changing hair in perfect alignment.

This film is just as sexy and outrageous as its predecessor, but too many side stories unravel an already disjointed plot; in particular that of the villain Thin Man (Crispin Glover) with his past at an orphanage, his painful obsession with haircuts and his sketchy relationship with a gangly adolescent who keeps popping up in scenes for no apparent reason (maybe he's the nephew of one of the producers?). Furthermore, just like that really hot person you're obsessed with, the more you look at this movie the less sexy it seems. If the first film blew you away, this follow-up only entertains you, i.e. the thrill is gone but the sex is still really good.

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle plays like a series of music videos complete with booty shots galore and blaring music, including one in which "the girls" shake their asses to MC Hammer's infamous tome and unofficial Behind the Music theme song "U Can't Touch This" that, despite its sheer frivolity and gratuitous sex, is pure entertainment. This scene encompasses the crux of Charlie's Angels - it might represent everything bad in this world, but it's still just so very delicious.

I think I hear the devil laughing.

The Bottom Line: Who said paying for sex was illegal? This flick is worth the guilty conscious.


Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
Rated PG-13
1 hour 51 minutes

Cameron Diaz
Drew Barrymore
Lucy Liu
Bernie Mac
Crispin Glover