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Catwoman

In a Word: Horrible

Believe it or not, the latest Halle Berry vehicle is terrible.

Berry plays Patience Prince, a mousy graphic designer working for an enormous cosmetics company. When Patience finds out about a dirty secret, she's offed by some goons. However, a special cat breathes new life into her and Patience becomes Catwoman, feline female of the night. And leather-clad, too.

The director, a real prodigy with only one name (Pitof) can't seem to create a scene. There aren't many cuts in the movie that last longer than two or three seconds, and the camera work certainly isn't anything to write home about.

Here's where the film could potentially strike gold: adolescent boys who can't get their sweaty, hairy pubescent hands on a proper smut rag may find masturbatory fodder in Catwoman. I suppose that's what the billboards and television ads are hoping for, anyway.