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A Consortium on Things Pulled, Tucked, Bound, and Gagged
It always seems to be the way in September. Just as we begin to think that summer is about to hang its ugly head, it comes back with a vengeance! Is it autumn trying to boast its glory, or simply that Mother Nature loves the attention from the gays? Either way, it seems, there is still plenty to celebrate in this changing of the seasons, and with the leather flag flying over Castro there is a true changing of the guard.
Leather week kicked off with two leather faced hags. One, the venerable Anna Conda, was shaking her tail feather on the night of her 41st birthday. Since she has her own show, the infamous weekly Charlie Horse, she has the perfect vehicle for self praise. Her night was extra packed, extra flawless, and over the top in celebration of her. Many happiest birthday wishes, Miss Conda! You are going to need ‘em to keep up your devilish pace!
The real leather weekend kick-off was the Folsom Street Events gala, which taunted a open martini bar, personal table slaves, and Joan fucking Rivers. Now, Joan Rivers may be forever frozen in time. We all know about her freeze frame face, and how she looks like Michael Lucas on a good day. However, her act seemed to suffer from the same fate as her face. I felt like I was watching her Bravo routine from 2005, but at least I laughed as hard as I did then! It was an all and all fun event, despite the mixed messages on the meaning of formal leather attire. Still not sure what that means, to be honest.
While Joan was still making cuts at the olds and the gaybies, the infectious spirit of the event was spreading throughout town like wildfire. There were the raucous events at Bearacudda, showing the Deco how to do it every other weekend and recently voted Best gay club in SF by the readers of the Guardian. Then there was Chrome, the little party that could and just did pull out that alternative feeling at the Gangway. It was definitely moted, but turned it out none the less exciting.
Sunday was a blur, as leather and the Imperial Court took over the Castro! The house of Glitter came out in force to rep their sister, Landa Lakes, who is running for Imperial Grand Duchess. Then, the Leather Flag rising and parade gave kink some character in its finest annual hours. One onlooker, from inside the Diesel store at just the right time, told me a fun anecdote about the leather parade. As a hulking, masculine leather man rode by on the back of a pick, looking butch as could be, he reached out for a cordless to sing a touching rendition of the Trolley Song. He proved the adage that a man can look like a monster in theory, and prove out to be nothing more than a lamb! That, I believe, is my favorite part of Folsom week.
So, while the leather men were proving their true colors, who was hard at work getting ready for her big house comeback show? Who was making arrangements for the next weekend’s lovefest-ivities, and who was caught making out whilst eating a hamburger at the Custom Burger? Would it help if this gainer was a pornstar? While I was fretting over the departure of Isis on America’s Next Top Tranny, who was posing like one of the show contestants at the BOC, taking more pictures than Nigel Barker? Well, I know all these answers. I even know some good dish on Folsom happenings! But I can’t tell you, as it is all wrapped up in a Pinkyswear, and I am bound and gagged by my word!