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Tourettes Without Regrets

Some take the high road and some take the low road -- and others take to the sewers.

Tourettes is where those who want a vacation from being virtuous come to slum it and where already-dirty denizens quest to sink to new lows. A no-holds-barred "open mic melée, open to freaks of all persuasions," is how the East Bay Express describes it. Needless to say there's full-on Midget Porn, a quarrelsome "Ex-Lover's Night," and some filthy business involving fresh fruit.

According to Update, the local slam newsletter, one past highlight has been the Dirty Limerick battle, in which contestants spewed verses that would disturb even Jamie Kennedy (self-described biggest asshole in the Bay Area) and Anthony Miller of DorkCore, the jaded hosts. It can turn ugly. When the loser gets humiliated, raises a stink and begins screaming diatribes, the winner doesn't have to be a sport.

Want to witness otherwise-sensitive Charles Ellik drop his composure and yell for a rematch? Come to Tourettes. And who would have known the aftermath could be such a bitter Haiku free-for-all, replete with nasty put-downs and Jamie taking bets on the side? Not for the faint of heart.

Don't forget the East Bay All-Star Slut Brigade, clad in scandalous outfits. Who else would host a contest spread-eagled with a cherry between their legs? People have been known to leave in disgust when it gets nasty. But the line for that infamous pie-eating contest was long and eager, with raucous audience members diving in to form tongue circles!

Tourettes Without Regrets
First & Third Tuesdays of the Month
The Oakland Metro
201 Broadway St., (@ 2nd St., near Jack London Square), Oakland, 510.763.1146
Signup at 8 pm, Show at 8:30, $6
Info: tongueartillery@hotmail.com