"Iíll PUKE if I see another bunch of retro-blues-rocking cocks from America called something like The Detroit Von Bondie Brothers who say their main influences are Sly & The Family Stone and the MC5 when in reality theyíre just a retarded version of The Jon Spencer Fucking Blues Explosion. I hate those fucking guys and their good time retro rock bullshit. Itís so fake. Are these cunts really that happy with everything? If they are I donít want them to be. I want them to be miserable and fucking depressed all the time like I am.
Thatís why Iím digging Portland, Oregonís Glass Candy And The Shattered Theatre. They make this totally unsettling, freaky rockabilly noise, like David Bowie and Strawberry Switchblade with some weird intergalactic amputee sex shit going on there as well. It sounds like how you feel in the middle of the night when youíre full of horrible drugs, gripped by the fear and convinced that somebody is trying to break into your house. Like ďWhatís that fucking noise? Oh no. Iím never going to get to sleep ever again. Shit. Ouch. Brrr.Ē
As well as sounding like a wet nightmare, Glass Candy are fucking difficult to deal with. When VICE tried to get a photo of them they flat-up refused and told us we had to settle with a specially made collage (pictured) instead. Síalright though isnít it? I mean it doesnít kill me, but itíll do."
"The band reaches into the hazardous depths of no wave pop and brings back tunes that sound pure and refreshing in these days of unimaginative singer/songwriter rumination. "I don't want to be analytical," the singer confidently asserts. "When Jewel is wallowing in her sorrow... I try to avoid that. Whenever I write a song, I ask myself, 'Is this making me feel glorious and righteous and like the world is mine?'""